Retirement Answer Man

Today we finish up The Parent Project. This has been an important theme to tackle and fortunately, we had 5 weeks to spend learning how we can help our parents age gracefully. If you haven’t listened to the other episodes in this series you can start here

To wrap up The Parent Project, Christine Benz from Morning Star joins me to discuss how you can help manage your parents’ finances. Not only is Christine a financial expert, but she has had firsthand experience taking the reins of her parents’ finances. 

Stick around until the end to hear how our very first Retirement Plan Live test subject is faring all these years later. 

What does gracefully mean?

At the beginning of this series, we talked about the stages of aging: independence, interdependence, dependence, crisis management, and end of life. We will all go through these steps as we age, but some will pass more quickly than others. Unfortunately, none of us can predict which of these periods may be drawn out over time. As children guiding our parents, we can strive to help them age gracefully.

Gracefully means in a respectful and dignified way. A gift we can give to our parents or elders is to give them the opportunity to pass through the stages of aging gracefully.

Communication is key

There’s that word again: communication. Communication has been a common theme throughout The Parent Project series. The value of communication cannot be overstated when it comes to helping your parents as they age. 

Christine Benz finds it challenging to find one-size-fits-all advice for everyone when it comes to caring for their parents since every family is so different. The only common thread is communication. 

Christine feels that it is important to open a dialogue with your parents and siblings as your parents move through the stages of aging. Have you opened a dialogue with your parents about their finances? If you haven’t started yet, listen in to hear a fantastic tip that Christine shares with us. 

Who will be in charge?

When there are multiple siblings involved sometimes you may wonder who will take the reins when mom and dad need help. Oftentimes there is an obvious choice, but the best option may be to divide and conquer. This way you can divvy up the duties. One sibling could be in charge of doctors’ appointments, another in charge of day to day finances, and yet another could handle the investments. Keep the lines of communication open to respect your parents’ wishes and to keep all interested parties up to date. 

How has The Parent Project helped you?

What have you learned in this series that you want to take action on? Have you begun talking to their parents about their wishes? Do you think you have learned something that you can apply to your own retirement? 

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

  • [2:30] What does gracefully mean?

PRACTICAL PLANNING SEGMENT

  • [4:58] Christine Benz shares her views on managing the parents’ finances
  • [10:23] Have you considered having 2 financial managers?

CATCHING UP WITH FRITZ GILBERT AKA CARL

  • [23:02] Fritz Gilbert, aka Carl was the first Retirement Plan Live test subject
  • [25:08] Is Fritz rocking retirement?
  • [31:02] You leave your identity behind when you retire

TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT

  • [40:29] Let’s just get through tomorrow!

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

The Retirement Manifesto blog

Christine Benz

Rock Retirement Club

Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That

BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney

Work with Roger

Roger’s Retirement Learning Center

 

Direct download: RAM358.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am CDT

There may come a time in your parents’ life (and in your own) when they begin to lose their agency. They may no longer have the ability to act upon their own path. Do you know what steps to take if that happens?

In this episode of Retirement Answer Man, we’ll investigate when, what, and how to take over when the time comes. Today, I have 2 guests joining me who will share their firsthand experience with the process of caring for a parent. 

Join me for the 4th installment of the Parent Project series. If you haven’t listened to the first 3 be sure to check those out when you’re done with this one. 

What does guardianship mean? 

Guardianship is a legal process used to protect individuals who are unable to care for their own well being due to incapacity or disability. The way it works is that the court appoints a legal guardian to care for a person who needs special protection. 

First, an attorney must petition the court, and then they must provide evidence as to why the person needs to have a guardian appointed. Then the court decides if the person is sufficiently incapacitated and also if the person requesting guardianship meets the guidelines. Listen in to learn whether having a power of attorney could eliminate the need for guardianship. 

Is there a better option?

Gaining guardianship over your parents or aging family members should be a last resort. Hopefully, your parents have planned ahead and made your situation a bit easier by setting up a legal plan including a power of attorney. Listen in to hear whether joint accounts, power of attorney, or a traunch would be the best course of action when the time comes.

Naomi Karp shares her experience

Naomi Karp is an attorney and longevity expert that has worked on longevity for over 30 years. Her work has focused on law, aging, and policy and has included research, advocacy, and legislative work. She specialized in elder abuse and cognitive impairment and she is now getting firsthand experience in the caregiving process by caring for her mother. Don’t miss out on learning from her expertise. 

What would you like to learn about elder care?

Family members make a significant portion of elder caregivers. There is so much to learn when jumping into a caretaker role, but it mostly requires on the job learning. Listening to stories from people like Naomi and Sarah can be extremely helpful and lessen the learning curve. Have you had to learn how to care for an aging family member? What is one thing you wish you had known before you started?

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

  • [1:30] What does guardianship mean?

PRACTICAL PLANNING WITH NAOMI KARP

  • [4:46] Naomi Karp has both the expertise and the personal knowledge of caregiving
  • [9:52] How do you take over your parents’ finances without being abusive?
  • [14:59] How to choose a power of attorney
  • [20:43] What kind of duty are you taking on if you become a guardian
  • [32:20] Check out the When I’m 64 podcast

PRACTICAL PLANNING WITH SARAH

  • [43:20] Sarah started noticing problems with both parents when her dad was hospitalized
  • [46:52] How to know when to take over
  • [50:42] Make sure your siblings and the doctors are on the same page
  • [54:40] Use their tax returns to help you identify their different accounts
  • [1:00:24] Hypotheticals can take you far
  • [1:02:44] Gaining power of attorney is so important
  • [1:09:05] What she wishes she had known
  • [1:13:44] Music is powerful for someone with dementia

TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Naomi Karp

When I’m 64 podcast

EverSafe

Rock Retirement Club

Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That

BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney

Work with Roger

Roger’s Retirement Learning Center

Direct download: RAM357.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am CDT

Welcome to the third installment of the Parent Project series. As your parents age, they may need you to pick up the reins and help out a little -- or a lot. Helping your parents get older with grace and dignity can be fulfilling, but at the same time challenging. The more prepared you are for this challenge the easier it will be.

After you listen to this episode make sure that you are signed up for the 6-Shot Saturday newsletter so that you can receive all of the FREE resources to help you prepare for this next phase of life. 

What is preparation? 

The word preparation means getting ready for an event or undertaking. You prepare for trips, parties, and all kinds of things. When you prepare financially you make financial life more stable, organized, and consistent.

You don’t even know if our parents will need help so why should you prepare for it now? You may not think that you need to prepare to manage your parents’ finances but the more prepared you are the more ready you will be if an unforeseen event happens. 

How can you talk to your parents about their finances? 

Talking to your parents about finances and estate planning can be uncomfortable. No one wants to sit down and have that big conversation. So instead of having a big uncomfortable conversation try having smaller conversations over time. When you strike up smaller conversations it’s easier to keep the dialogue open. Try opening the door to a smaller conversation the next time you see your parents. 

The 3 types of aging parents

Everyone’s parents are different. Some parents don’t want to deal with any of their finances, this type of parent may need you to be a project manager. Others may want a little bit of assistance, if so, then you could take on the role of a coach. And other elderly parents may want you to take a hands-off approach. They may appreciate you feeding them small pieces of information along the way. What kind of parents do you have?

Tips for talking to your parents about their finances

  • Keep the financial conversation separate from family time
  • Don’t have too many cooks in the kitchen
  • Take an inventory of their accounts
  • Create a net worth statement
  • Set up online access for all of their accounts 
  • Use a password manager
  • Get organized and create a diagram
  • Have digital records
  • Get introduced to key people

Listen in to hear the details about how to create this dialogue so that you can get prepared to help your parents. Whether they need it or not, being prepared for the financial conversation will give you some peace of mind as your parents get older. Make sure to stick around to hear a first-hand story from retirement coach, Mark Ross and catch up with Lori from Retirement Plan Live. 

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

  • [1:30] What is preparation?

PRACTICAL PLANNING SEGMENT

  • [6:17] Have little conversations
  • [8:05] What kind of parents do you have?
  • [16:30] Create an organizational diagram

AN INTERVIEW WITH MARK ROSS

  • [22:02] Mark has been on a long journey with his parent project
  • [24:50] He turned an overwhelming project into an enjoyable journey
  • [25:57] How did he manage the conversations with his parents?
  • [29:37] How did he deal with his siblings?
  • [35:47] It all works out in the end
  • [38:42] What is he doing differently now that he has learned about aging?

TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT

AN INTERVIEW WITH LAURIE FROM RETIREMENT PLAN LIVE

  • [43:04] Bruce has since retired and Lori is still working part-time

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Check out Lori’s Retirement Plan Live - start with episode 194

Everplans.com

LastPass

1Password

Estate Planning in Retirement episodes 332, 333, 334, 335, 336

BOOK - Built to Sell by John Warrillow

Rock Retirement Club

Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That

BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney

Work with Roger

Roger’s Retirement Learning Center

 

Direct download: RAM356.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am CDT

Have you had the talk with your parents or loved ones? You know the one. Maybe it pertains to their driving or their finances, or it could be about their health or living situation. Whatever the conversation is about; it is uncomfortable for everyone involved. 

What if there was an easier way that you could address these subjects with your parents? On this episode of Retirement Answer Man, you’ll learn how you can talk to your parents or loved ones about the matters that are so important to discuss as they age. 

What is a caregiver?

Generally, when we think of a caregiver we think of a medical professional. (Someone other than ourselves.) However, a caregiver can include anyone who regularly looks after someone that needs help.

Caregiving can mean nursing, but it also means cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, etc. Most of the time the caregiver ends up being a family member. As a matter of fact, 29% of the population provides care for chronically ill family members and often those people spend 20 hours per week providing care. 

Creating an open dialogue is critical

We often wait until a big event happens to address important subjects with our parents, but that isn’t the most effective way to address uncomfortable subjects. Instead of waiting until the last minute to bring up a nursing home or another issue, try creating little conversations before a stressful situation arises.

Starting a dialogue early with your parents or family member creates an open space to address difficult subjects before they come up. Learn how to open up this conversation by listening to this episode of Retirement Answer Man. 

What should these conversations be about?

Now that you understand the need to have several smaller conversations with your parents rather than a big bombshell, it is important to think about the issues. What do you need to address? There are a number of issues that may arise: driving, finances, housing, health, safety, and cognitive abilities are all factors that may need to be addressed. Remember the earlier that you bring these matters up the better they will go. 

Tips for bringing these conversations to light

It can be challenging to bring up issues that you have never had to address with your parents or family members. Everyone is on their own journey in life and aging can impact one’s ego and sense of privacy. It is important to be empathetic and understanding of their journey. Here are some tips you can remember to help you make the most of the conversation: 

  1. Choose the right messenger.
  2. Use hypotheticals.
  3. Test the waters with little things.
  4. Bring solutions and resources
  5. Don’t give advice, guide them to the answers
  6. Listen - choose the right time and place
  7. Be empathetic, not condescending

After you listen in make sure that you are signed up for the 6-shot Saturday email newsletter to receive all the resources that go along with each episode. 

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

  • [1:10] What is a caregiver?

PRACTICAL PLANNING SEGMENT

  • [4:43] Create an open dialogue
  • [7:00] What should these conversations be about?
  • [11:21] Tips for bringing these conversations to light

A RETIREMENT PLAN LIVE UPDATE

  • [21:16] An update with Emma
  • [29:20] How to say yes to things after a loss

TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Episode 289 - Retirement Plan Live with Emma and Luca

BOOK - How to Say It to Seniors by David Solie

Rock Retirement Club

Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That

BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney

Work with Roger

Roger’s Retirement Learning Center

 

Direct download: RAM355.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am CDT

Over the next 5 episodes, we’ll be tackling an important series that I call The Parent Project. No parent wants to be a burden to their children, but as longevity increases with advances in healthcare, your parents may need you to help them out as they age. Are you helping to care for a parent or an aging family member?

My goals for this series are to help you help a parent prepare for this stage of life, to help you prepare for this stage in your own life, and to share bits of wisdom along the way. You won’t want to miss this pertinent series, so press the play button now!

What is aging?

The word aging can be a noun or an adjective. Aging is both the process of getting older and a way to describe the signs of growing old. We all know that aging is a natural process that we go through, but that doesn’t mean that it’s fun. 

We are aging for a longer period of time due to health and medical advancements. We all go through 5 stages of aging -- although some may happen more quickly than others. The 5 stages of aging are independence, interdependence, dependence, crisis management, and end of life. 

6 ways that aging parents can impact your life

Diving into the parent project can have a big impact on your life. We want to honor our parents in this vulnerable part of their lives, but we also want to live our own life. Many of you are retired or on the cusp of retirement and caring for aging parents can greatly affect your retirement plans. These are 6 ways that aging parents could impact your life.

  1. Retirement date - You may delay your retirement due to your parents’ condition.
  2. Living arrangements - You may decide not to move or limit where you can live.
  3. Time - The bureaucracy of caregiving, court documents, and everything else can eat into your time.
  4. Psychologically - The psychological effects of caring for loved ones can lead to many feelings like guilt and disappointment.
  5. Finances - You may need to subsidize your parents’ care.
  6. Relationships - How are your relationships with your spouse and siblings affected?

What can David’s story teach you?

We have a saying over at the Rock Retirement Club, ‘walk with the wise to become wise.’ The RRC is a place to learn from each other to increase our understanding and gain knowledge of a topic. Since I’m not an expert on this topic, I have invited David to come on the show to share his story. 

David has recently dealt with the incapacitation and passing of his mother while also arranging for the care of his father. He learned a lot about the parent project along the way. Listen in to learn from his story so that you can start considering the different things to keep in mind as you and your parents age. 

As we work through the different topics over the next 5 episodes consider creating a file of resources for yourself. Sign up for 6-Shot Saturday to get FREE resources to help you prepare for your parents’ and your own aging process. 

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN

WHAT’S THAT MEAN?

  • [3:07] What is aging?

PRACTICAL PLANNING SEGMENT

  • [6:39] 6 ways that aging parents can impact your life
  • [13:01] What can you do to ease the transition for your parents and for yourself?

AN INTERVIEW WITH DAVID

  • [14:37] How did David’s parent project start?
  • [22:08] How to broach the conversation of moving to a facility
  • [28:11] David knew that he needed an elder law attorney
  • [32:36] How has this event impacted his relationships?

TODAY’S SMART SPRINT SEGMENT

Resources Mentioned In This Episode

Caring.com

Rock Retirement Club

Roger’s YouTube Channel - Roger That

BOOK - Rock Retirement  by Roger Whitney

Work with Roger

Roger’s Retirement Learning Center

Direct download: RAM354.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am CDT

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